Shout > Never trust a chef in immaculate whites

Shout: Never trust a chef in immaculate whites
I'm sure you've seen those adverts gracing TV and huge bill boards, the ones that feature a chef showing off his wonderful cooking, patisserie or whatever product he happens to be endorsing... the chef almost always happens to be wearing immaculately clean chef whites. In fact his chef whites will be so clean and pristine that they'd practically glow in the dark if you were to turn off the lights and to add insult to injury the fool is wearing one of those really, really stupidly tall chef hats oh yeah and he's got a little blue scarf artfully wrapped around his neck.

If you ever come across a chef like this in the real world....run. And if you happen to see a chef like that actually cooking your food...run twice as fast because he's got no idea of what he's doing (unless you happened to order a pot noodle.)

A chef's clothing remains whites for only five minutes, once you've stepped into the fast paced, frantic world of a kitchen and you become embroiled in the work at hand your appearance is going to go down hill very swiftly. You get covered in tomato paste, tumeric powder, fish scales, spattered soup and just about everything else that happens to be on the menu. Its impossible to stay spotless and picture perfect.... that is if you're a real chef.

Chef's simply don't look like that bill board ideal. No chef would be seen dead wearing one of those foolish pointy hats, they're almost always guaranteed to get knocked off each time you walk beneath the kitchen extraction canopy or when you hasten into the walk-in fridge. And as for that scarf that goes around the neck.... please.

So if you do see such a pretty looking chef be sure of three things:

1) Either he's an executive chef that handles the paper work and doesn't do any real cooking (but sadly, is still overly concerned with his image)

2) He's a shop mannequin

3) Or he's a real chef stuck in a time warp and he needs a good hard smack and a telling off for being an utter chump